I haven’t written a blog for a while. Life and works seems to have been a little hectic and quick posts on social media have been my only outlet. But today, I have been given an impromptu opportunity to have time for reflection and this post has just spilled right out of me.
Today, I’m realising that what I learnt during my hypnobirthing course (nearly 8 years ago) and what I keep realising as a mum and as a grown up; is that life (and birth) doesn’t always go the way you want it to or planned it to and curve balls are always around a corner. There is no straight line in life and no straight line in birth. Your life is yours and your birth is yours, it will never mirror anybody else’s and why should it? You are unique and special, and how wonderful and exciting that is to have your own life to experience, regardless of what others have done or are doing.
So here I am, a few curve balls, a crossroads on my path…
Am I annoyed? Yes…
Am I despondent? A little…
Am I freaking out? A smidge…
But, I’m owning those feelings, I’ll sit with them for a while, accept what’s happening now and then I’ll find my new path (probably with the help of several lists and an excel spreadsheet)
I will also use my BRAINS, in any scenario, this acronym is a way to take a moment and really think about what you are going to choose to do next, it’s really helpful during birth especially when someone is offering a medical intervention, but it can also help with life choices too
B – Benefits (what are the benefits of an epidural or formula feeding or starting your own business)
R – Risks (what could go wrong, what impact will this decision have on me, my baby, my family)
A – Alternative (what else can you try before making that decision)
I – Instinct and Intuition (what does your gut tell you, take a moment and listen to yourself, get some space and some quiet)
N – Nothing (what if you carry on as you are? Would that be ok?)
S – Smile (Keep smiling, when you’re asking questions of care providers, when you ask for a minute to think, when it seems like you don’t know what to do – keep positive, own your feelings and choose your way out)
I encourage you to do this with your pregnancy, birth and parenting. If things aren’t going the way you want them to or thought they might, it’s ok to be pissed, it’s ok to pause for a while, it’s ok to not be ok. BUT you can find your way out. It’s not over, it’s different. Know that you choose where you go next, with the information and knowledge you need to make a decision and explore your options, prepare to deal with these curve balls and they can be hit out of the park just as easily.
You control your life and how you deal with experiences, equip yourself with knowledge and techniques for staying calm in challenging situations; if that means taking a hypnobirthing course for your birth? Great! If it means asking for help when you need it? Fantastic! Be flexible, own your feelings, ask for help and move on to the new path; a good birth experience is not what happens but how you feel about what happens…
Have a great Day